Hello,
So recently I've asked if I should post one of my stories, I've read a few and realized that all of them are bad. So I decided to write a new story. First I want to say a few things:
- This isn't the beginning of my story, so it might be confusing sometimes (That's why I'm making a introduction.)
- English is not my main language, because of this my story won't be quite good. (And because it's bad in generally, what ever language it is..)
- You can be as rude as you want with giving me feedback, I'd probably even agree with you.
- Magic is a thing in my story....
- The names I am using in this story might be a bit weird for some of you, because they're Dutch names.
- It's not related to Cubecraft whatsoever.
- Sometimes I'll write a note, that's really small, to help y'all out.
- This sounds good in my head, if you read it it's bad..
- I'm cringing as I'm writing this.
Introduction:
This story is about a medieval kingdom which does not have a name yet, because I'm horrible with that.
There is a queen of course, her name is Bella. She is in a relationship with a man called Robin.
(She was engaged once, but he got killed) Her duchess is Marloes. Marloes is also in a relationship with a man called Chaz.
Roanne is a woman who used to be Bella's second duchess. She is in a relationship with a man called Koen, and it's not a healthy relationship, but Roanne refuses to believes that. Roanne and Koen want Bella's kingdom, and yeah.. just read it.
Alright.. so.. *deep sigh* here we go. *cringe* my story..
I was sitting on my couch with a cup of tea and an empty book. Suddenly I hear a knock on my door. I stood up, and putted my book on the table. I opened my door and to my surprise I saw nobody. ‘’Must be a kid trying to be funny.’’ Thought I. I wanted to close my door but I saw a letter on the ground. I picked it up and looked if I could find someone. Nobody was here. I closed my door and walked to my couch and started to read the letter.
‘’Dear Bella,
Sadly that you can’t hear the sounds of screaming and crying right now.
Never knew that, that sound could put me to sleep. I’m not really sure if she can sleep tho..
Oh, I’m sorry. How stupid of me! I haven’t even introduced myself. Well, we haven’t introduced ourselves.. Koen and Roanne. We have Marloes. You must want her back, don’t you? Your beloved duchess. I think you know exactly what we want. Your kingdom. We want your kingdom. You sign this kingdom over to us, give us the crown and the key, and she lives. You can have her back and you can leave. If you don’t? Well, then somebody has to pay the price.
You have until sundown tomorrow to give up the claim to the throne, and for every extra day you won’t give us what we want. One of your people, will die.
We will be at the back of the castle at 5 PM tomorrow.
I should come alone if I were you, otherwise she dies.
Stop denying who you are, Bella. You mommy might has been a good queen, that doesn’t make you one.’’
(This isn't going to be Bella's perspective anymore, this is everything Marloes sees and hears etc.)
Said Koen. ‘’Everything has been written up. Now we just have to send it, and make her read it.’’ Said Roanne. ‘’You can’t keep me here forever.’’ Said I. ‘’We aren’t, sundown tomorrow, we will see if you will die or not..’’ Said Koen. ‘’What if she doesn't come? She will never give her whole entire kingdom just for me.. You’re gonna, what? Kill me?’’ Laughed I ‘’You think this is a joke? You think we’re kidding? You think we’re to soft.’’’Said Koen angry. ‘’Roanne where is my knife?’’ Said he. Roanne ran to one of the many boxes and got his knife. ‘’Here it is.’’ Said she while she handed it over. Koen walked up to me and took a piece of my hair, and cutted it off. ‘’I don’t care, about any of that. It’ll grow back.’’ Said she. ‘’Right now it’s your hair, next time it’ll be your finger.’’ Said I. ‘’Maybe even your ring finger, don’t worry. Then you won’t be able that Chaz of yours.’’ Said he laughing. I laughed. ‘’Go on, kill me! Do it, now. Kill me and you won’t have anything to threaten Bella with.’’ Said I. I laughed as I saw the faces of Roanne and Koen when they realized it.
(Bella's perspective again)
I was holding a bag full of diamonds, gold and jewelry hoping it would be enough to set her free. I walked around the castle, and than I finally saw them. ‘’Ah! We knew you’d come!.’’ Said Koen. ‘’So, when are you going to sign over the kingdom?’’ Said he. ‘’I’m not going to do anything, I first want to see her.’’ Said I. Koen turned around and said to Roanne: ‘’Show her, her precious duchess.’’ Roanne walked up to the cart and opened the door. Marloes fell out. Her legs and arms were tied up with a rope, she had a dirty cloth around her mouth so she wasn’t able to speak. She looked tired, her hair was awful and she was bleeding everywhere. Her eyes were red and her lips were dry. ‘’We changed our planes, we’re not going to kill her, we’re going to make her suffer. Suffer for the mistakes you made.’’ Said Koen. “Pretty unfair don't you think?” I asked. “I don't care.. She’s going to pay for everything you did wrong.” Koen Said. I sighed and dropped the bag and pushed it forwards. Koen walked up to it and opened it. He got mad. I leaned over him and said ‘’It’s enough for you to leave my kingdom and start over somewhere else.’’ Said I. ‘’You really don’t care about your duchess, do you?’’ Said Koen while he stood up. ‘’I actually do.. But you see, I also care about my kingdom and I can’t leave my people here with you two.’’ Said I. He pulled out his sword en threatened me. ‘’Oh please.’’ Said I and with a turn of my hand, it was gone. (< Magic) Suddenly I felt something on my arm, in shook I turned around and saw Roanne. I looked at my wrist and saw a black bracelet. I tried to get it off but it didn’t work. I tried to use my magic but it also didn’t work. ‘’What the hell have you done?’’ Said I. Koen laughed. ‘’Get in the cart .’’ Said he while Roanne pulled out her sword.
If people like this for some reason I might write more when I'm bored or something
So recently I've asked if I should post one of my stories, I've read a few and realized that all of them are bad. So I decided to write a new story. First I want to say a few things:
- This isn't the beginning of my story, so it might be confusing sometimes (That's why I'm making a introduction.)
- English is not my main language, because of this my story won't be quite good. (And because it's bad in generally, what ever language it is..)
- You can be as rude as you want with giving me feedback, I'd probably even agree with you.
- Magic is a thing in my story....
- The names I am using in this story might be a bit weird for some of you, because they're Dutch names.
- It's not related to Cubecraft whatsoever.
- Sometimes I'll write a note, that's really small, to help y'all out.
- This sounds good in my head, if you read it it's bad..
- I'm cringing as I'm writing this.
Introduction:
This story is about a medieval kingdom which does not have a name yet, because I'm horrible with that.
There is a queen of course, her name is Bella. She is in a relationship with a man called Robin.
(She was engaged once, but he got killed) Her duchess is Marloes. Marloes is also in a relationship with a man called Chaz.
Roanne is a woman who used to be Bella's second duchess. She is in a relationship with a man called Koen, and it's not a healthy relationship, but Roanne refuses to believes that. Roanne and Koen want Bella's kingdom, and yeah.. just read it.
Alright.. so.. *deep sigh* here we go. *cringe* my story..
I was sitting on my couch with a cup of tea and an empty book. Suddenly I hear a knock on my door. I stood up, and putted my book on the table. I opened my door and to my surprise I saw nobody. ‘’Must be a kid trying to be funny.’’ Thought I. I wanted to close my door but I saw a letter on the ground. I picked it up and looked if I could find someone. Nobody was here. I closed my door and walked to my couch and started to read the letter.
‘’Dear Bella,
Sadly that you can’t hear the sounds of screaming and crying right now.
Never knew that, that sound could put me to sleep. I’m not really sure if she can sleep tho..
Oh, I’m sorry. How stupid of me! I haven’t even introduced myself. Well, we haven’t introduced ourselves.. Koen and Roanne. We have Marloes. You must want her back, don’t you? Your beloved duchess. I think you know exactly what we want. Your kingdom. We want your kingdom. You sign this kingdom over to us, give us the crown and the key, and she lives. You can have her back and you can leave. If you don’t? Well, then somebody has to pay the price.
You have until sundown tomorrow to give up the claim to the throne, and for every extra day you won’t give us what we want. One of your people, will die.
We will be at the back of the castle at 5 PM tomorrow.
I should come alone if I were you, otherwise she dies.
Stop denying who you are, Bella. You mommy might has been a good queen, that doesn’t make you one.’’
(This isn't going to be Bella's perspective anymore, this is everything Marloes sees and hears etc.)
Said Koen. ‘’Everything has been written up. Now we just have to send it, and make her read it.’’ Said Roanne. ‘’You can’t keep me here forever.’’ Said I. ‘’We aren’t, sundown tomorrow, we will see if you will die or not..’’ Said Koen. ‘’What if she doesn't come? She will never give her whole entire kingdom just for me.. You’re gonna, what? Kill me?’’ Laughed I ‘’You think this is a joke? You think we’re kidding? You think we’re to soft.’’’Said Koen angry. ‘’Roanne where is my knife?’’ Said he. Roanne ran to one of the many boxes and got his knife. ‘’Here it is.’’ Said she while she handed it over. Koen walked up to me and took a piece of my hair, and cutted it off. ‘’I don’t care, about any of that. It’ll grow back.’’ Said she. ‘’Right now it’s your hair, next time it’ll be your finger.’’ Said I. ‘’Maybe even your ring finger, don’t worry. Then you won’t be able that Chaz of yours.’’ Said he laughing. I laughed. ‘’Go on, kill me! Do it, now. Kill me and you won’t have anything to threaten Bella with.’’ Said I. I laughed as I saw the faces of Roanne and Koen when they realized it.
(Bella's perspective again)
I was holding a bag full of diamonds, gold and jewelry hoping it would be enough to set her free. I walked around the castle, and than I finally saw them. ‘’Ah! We knew you’d come!.’’ Said Koen. ‘’So, when are you going to sign over the kingdom?’’ Said he. ‘’I’m not going to do anything, I first want to see her.’’ Said I. Koen turned around and said to Roanne: ‘’Show her, her precious duchess.’’ Roanne walked up to the cart and opened the door. Marloes fell out. Her legs and arms were tied up with a rope, she had a dirty cloth around her mouth so she wasn’t able to speak. She looked tired, her hair was awful and she was bleeding everywhere. Her eyes were red and her lips were dry. ‘’We changed our planes, we’re not going to kill her, we’re going to make her suffer. Suffer for the mistakes you made.’’ Said Koen. “Pretty unfair don't you think?” I asked. “I don't care.. She’s going to pay for everything you did wrong.” Koen Said. I sighed and dropped the bag and pushed it forwards. Koen walked up to it and opened it. He got mad. I leaned over him and said ‘’It’s enough for you to leave my kingdom and start over somewhere else.’’ Said I. ‘’You really don’t care about your duchess, do you?’’ Said Koen while he stood up. ‘’I actually do.. But you see, I also care about my kingdom and I can’t leave my people here with you two.’’ Said I. He pulled out his sword en threatened me. ‘’Oh please.’’ Said I and with a turn of my hand, it was gone. (< Magic) Suddenly I felt something on my arm, in shook I turned around and saw Roanne. I looked at my wrist and saw a black bracelet. I tried to get it off but it didn’t work. I tried to use my magic but it also didn’t work. ‘’What the hell have you done?’’ Said I. Koen laughed. ‘’Get in the cart .’’ Said he while Roanne pulled out her sword.
If people like this for some reason I might write more when I'm bored or something
