I'd never get tnt just considering pickaxes are very good
I almost always buy TNT though not often on first rush but soon after.
On Solos maps with huge amounts of gold I often just fill up with a stack or two of TNT cos what else are you going to spend it on... yeah it's kinda a bit nasty to drop a ton of TNT on the last player alive, but I can't stop myself.
Like slinky I prioritise Iron sword over diamond.. far easier to get and wins against 12 dia sword much of the time.
My hotbar left to right for mid to late game is usually something like..
1) Golden Carrots
2) Golden Apples,
3) Sword,
4) 5 gold Pic (or better)
5) Blox,
6) Ladders or Ladder Towers (or pearl or hay)
7) Ladders or Ladder Towers,
8) Bow
9) TNT or Wall Builders.
Though ofc it's flexible depending on the situation.. eg, if I'm late game bridging high and they have bows, I might keep Hay Bales, Ladders or Ender Pearl next to blocks for the clutch from height, or sometimes more blox if in a chase. Being controller its important to have stuff easy to get to fast... like when falling.
I forgot to say that I prefer Gapple kit over the others... they're much more useful in my opinion for when / if you die and then each and every time you die whereas miner kit and builder kit are not much use at all after initial rush.
Ladders and Ladder Towers are so underrated, I often win against far better equipped players simply by looking around fast and placing a ladder tower in their path on a bridge etc plus ladders against the million CPS right click block spammer clutchers is fun.. they don't often expect you to be able to get up to them fast for some reason.