Quick overview of the month.
(Sorry if it is hard to read)
(Sorry if it is hard to read)
Minecraft PC IP: play.cubecraft.net
*Step 3: Post your memes in separate posts to maximize the amount of likes you get*
A name must address either a user or a recipient, both wherever possible. Moreover, the subject must either be derogatory towards the recipient in question, or glorifying towards the user in a PvP setting. For example, 'I_Eat_Peanutbutter_With_My_Cereal' is not an acceptable name because although it addresses the user via the letter 'I', it does not glorify the user in a PvP setting. It needs to be scarier, more threatening to the surrounding players.
Such magnificent, utterly terrifying names include 'I_Get_You_killed', 'I_Always_Win_Bro' and 'I_Scare_Kids_By_Chewing_Gum_And_Making_The_Shape_Of_A_Gun_With_My_Hands_When_I'm_In_Class'. Take the latter name, for instance, for it tells you everything you need to know about the user in question. First of all, they chew gum in class; clearly they do not play by the rules, because gum in class carries a thirty-minute after-school sentence. Secondly, they scare kids. The word 'scare' alone is enough to trigger most people's flight instincts, meaning you're free to fight only the toughest of the crowds who stand to face you. Lastly, they make the shape of a gun with their hands. IN CLASS. They couldn't be edgier if they came from a family of sentient rapiers!
A true tryhard has the right equipment. Don't settle for a £30 mouse and keyboard combo pack from Argos, unless you want people to think you're just a casual? No, this is Minecraft we're talking about, it's not a game. Okay, it is a game, but it's also not a game because it's a sport, and sports are only fun when your team wins. Would you go onto the tennis court with a stretched fishing net strung to a rod of splintered wood? Heck no, you go to your nearby sports centre and you buy the best damn tennis racket you can find. If you aren't spending at least £200 on a keyboard and mouse, then you're just a poser who isn't taking the game seriously enough! I mean come on, where the hell is your passion? This is bloody Minecraft we're talking about, get your head in the game or get off the court!
Another vital piece of the figurative puzzle is to let everybody know the extent to which you struggled when fighting a fellow player, even when nobody asked. You may have seen the letters 'e' and 'z' spoken together like so: 'ez'. This isn't just some typo on a keyboard, it is a message to the entire lobby: 'Don't mess with me, kid, I beat somebody in Minecraft,' is what it means. You're going to want to let everybody know, after every single fight, that you found it easy, not as a statement that you are a Minecraft god, but as a warning.
BUT, it's also seriously important that you call out unfair fights. If somebody 2v1'd you, it's absolutely vital to your pride and reputation that you message everybody in the lobby, and let them know that you only lost because you were outnumbered. Better still, let everybody in public chat know that the two noobs cannot fight solo because they are bad at the game, so they have to play with their friends like absolute losers. If anybody tries to defend teaming, call up your homie Sammie the Savage and go hunt that little pipsqueak down!
Lastly, if somebody has a single ping higher than you and they win, then it's time to take the outcome of the fight to court because that's just bs. After all, youwasted spent your childhood getting good at Minecraft; it's so unfair that Timmy-No-Thumbs got a free hit on you because of his McDonalds connection. This is also the time to flaunt your PLUS rank, and argue that if you can afford £7 extra a month on some virtual confetti then Timmy should be able to afford better internet so you can beat him some more. If he argues that poor connection is a deficit and not a benefit what-so-ever, then it's time to hit Sammie the Savage up on Skype so he can load up Minecraft and help you bully prove to Timmy that he's just a loser.
Follow these rules my friends, and you too will be able to become a tryhard. It will take a lot of practice and a lot of divine-given talent in the art of Minecraft, but I have faith in every last one of you. Just follow these tips and you'll be having less fun in no time! After all, there are no medals for "having fun", there are only medals for winning.
P.S. The lobby 1 afkers are just posers. Real tryharders don't afk, because afking is xp waste.
I read it all and I don't regret it... amazing essay 10/10 would hand in as school assignment.
I don't think we're thinking about the same Cubecraft update, or you accidently switched the pictures?
CCG Memes
- Thread starter Muffin
- Start date
*Step 3: Post your memes in separate posts to maximize the amount of likes you get*
A very informative piece, but it's so void of detail that I fear somebody could be hurt from its vagueness when trying to become a tryhard themselves. First of all, you forgot to specify what makes a name cringy. To a tryharder, a name is a reputation, a symbol of authority. It must strike fear into the hearts of five-year-olds everywhere, otherwise you are deemed a failure by your cronies and risk being kicked out of the #CubeGangPvP.
A name must address either a user or a recipient, both wherever possible. Moreover, the subject must either be derogatory towards the recipient in question, or glorifying towards the user in a PvP setting. For example, 'I_Eat_Peanutbutter_With_My_Cereal' is not an acceptable name because although it addresses the user via the letter 'I', it does not glorify the user in a PvP setting. It needs to be scarier, more threatening to the surrounding players.
Such magnificent, utterly terrifying names include 'I_Get_You_killed', 'I_Always_Win_Bro' and 'I_Scare_Kids_By_Chewing_Gum_And_Making_The_Shape_Of_A_Gun_With_My_Hands_When_I'm_In_Class'. Take the latter name, for instance, for it tells you everything you need to know about the user in question. First of all, they chew gum in class; clearly they do not play by the rules, because gum in class carries a thirty-minute after-school sentence. Secondly, they scare kids. The word 'scare' alone is enough to trigger most people's flight instincts, meaning you're free to fight only the toughest of the crowds who stand to face you. Lastly, they make the shape of a gun with their hands. IN CLASS. They couldn't be edgier if they came from a family of sentient rapiers!
A true tryhard has the right equipment. Don't settle for a £30 mouse and keyboard combo pack from Argos, unless you want people to think you're just a casual? No, this is Minecraft we're talking about, it's not a game. Okay, it is a game, but it's also not a game because it's a sport, and sports are only fun when your team wins. Would you go onto the tennis court with a stretched fishing net strung to a rod of splintered wood? Heck no, you go to your nearby sports centre and you buy the best damn tennis racket you can find. If you aren't spending at least £200 on a keyboard and mouse, then you're just a poser who isn't taking the game seriously enough! I mean come on, where the hell is your passion? This is bloody Minecraft we're talking about, get your head in the game or get off the court!
Another vital piece of the figurative puzzle is to let everybody know the extent to which you struggled when fighting a fellow player, even when nobody asked. You may have seen the letters 'e' and 'z' spoken together like so: 'ez'. This isn't just some typo on a keyboard, it is a message to the entire lobby: 'Don't mess with me, kid, I beat somebody in Minecraft,' is what it means. You're going to want to let everybody know, after every single fight, that you found it easy, not as a statement that you are a Minecraft god, but as a warning.
BUT, it's also seriously important that you call out unfair fights. If somebody 2v1'd you, it's absolutely vital to your pride and reputation that you message everybody in the lobby, and let them know that you only lost because you were outnumbered. Better still, let everybody in public chat know that the two noobs cannot fight solo because they are bad at the game, so they have to play with their friends like absolute losers. If anybody tries to defend teaming, call up your homie Sammie the Savage and go hunt that little pipsqueak down!
Lastly, if somebody has a single ping higher than you and they win, then it's time to take the outcome of the fight to court because that's just bs. After all, you
Follow these rules my friends, and you too will be able to become a tryhard. It will take a lot of practice and a lot of divine-given talent in the art of Minecraft, but I have faith in every last one of you. Just follow these tips and you'll be having less fun in no time! After all, there are no medals for "having fun", there are only medals for winning.
P.S. The lobby 1 afkers are just posers. Real tryharders don't afk, because afking is xp waste.
I read it all and I don't regret it... amazing essay 10/10 would hand in as school assignment.
I don't think we're thinking about the same Cubecraft update, or you accidently switched the pictures?
He's here to raid your wine cellar, steal your girl and ruin your family's 300-year-long dynasty. Rah Rah.
@MoonlightHugs makes positive meme about the Cubecraft update.
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Makes a negative meme about the Cubecraft update.
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1 hour later:
Makes a negative meme about the Cubecraft update.
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