Horrible jokes & puns

[Injunction]

you did? oh sorry

 

[Injunction]

I have to get surgery soon you've got to be kidney me

 

[CptSwollhouse]

How do you fit 100 babies into a barrel?

With a blender.

How do you get them out?

Chips!

(Lord forgive me for I have sinned)

 

[Earth]

what would bears be without bees?
ears



end my suffering

 

[CptSwollhouse]

A black guy, a white guy, and a Mexican are stranded in the desert when they stumble upon a lamp. They rub it, and a genie pops out, granting each one a single wish. The black guy says, "I want all my African brothers and sisters to be sovereign, happy, and free back in Africa."

Poof. All the black people were moved to a prosperous Africa.

The Mexican says,"I want all the Mexicans to be prosperous, happy, and free back in Mexico", and Poof, it was done.

The white guy thinks for a second and says, "you mean that all the blacks and Mexicans are out of my country?" And the genie confirms. His reply?

"I'll have a coke."

 

[TheJeroen]

Today I heard a joke from my class and just wow...
It's just too offensive to share ._.

 

[Marieke2001]

Today I heard a joke from my class and just wow...
It's just too offensive to share ._.

You're making me curious.

 

[TheJeroen]

You're making me curious.

I'll share it in our conversation.
It's just so offensive towards Americans xD

 

[Earth]

I'll share it in our conversation.
It's just so offensive towards Americans xD

me too me too

 

[Pandrai]

Dang I'm starting a convo with u, @TheJeroen I gotta here that joke, and yes I'm American XD

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all died and got to go to heaven. God gave them one task tho, u have to walk up 100 steps(on a staircase) and each step tells a joke, if u laugh, u go to hell. The redhead makes it up 17 steps before she laughs. The brunette makes it 54 steps before she laughs. The blonde gets to the 99th step before she bursts out laughing. God asks her why she didn't take one more step before she laughed and then she would've gotten to go to heaven. The blonde looks at him and says "I just got the first joke".

 

[Injunction]

I walked up to a zombie he bit me

I guess that was a no brainer

 

[RynezDev]

What is the difference between three and two?
One!

 

[Despacito 2]

I went to Rome with all the Hotties from my School...
*got the joke?*
(No but seriously: True Story ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) )

 

[Injunction]

This is a joke about "New France" just go with it

There are 3 solders 2 men 1 woman they all want to have a 5 by 10 kilometre of land and the first one named Jeff put his in Brazil and said "I rule the world... well actually i rule about nothing... Why did i choose here now i am lonely and nobody will write me or see me and now i won't have a wife... I am the dumbest person in the world"

so he built a farm near his house on his 5 by 10 kilometres of land to keep him company


The second man named James lived in Canada and actually did write Jeff because they were friends
Now James only has one arm and he was going to marry Lydia in 1 week and since they were going to marry each other Lydia wanted to be near James
so she went 40 kilometres to the west of James but she ended up marrying Jeff because she had to move places because James lives in Victoria so Lydia was literally sleeping with the fishes

 

[Brittley]

Id tell you a chemistry joke, but I know I wouldnt get a reaction :p

 

[Brittley]

A new type of broom came out, its sweeping the nation :P

 

[Despacito 2]

Did someone make a
Trump vs Hilary pun yet?

 

[RynezDev]

Why did Adele cross the road?
To say hello from the other side!

 

[RockBob4]

Did someone make a
Trump vs Hilary pun yet?

Hilary: "Trump didn't release his tax returns."
Trump: "That makes me smart."
The ad part is these are actual quotes.
Also a few pages back there was one.

 

[Injunction]

the man got killed by a metal pole how IRONic