Step One: The introduction.
The first thing you have to do in your helper application is introducing yourself. But that doesn't mean go: 'Hey, my name is X and I am wishing to apply for helper because...' NO. THAT'S WRONG. In your introduction, you have to compliment the server 50,000,000 times!
Here is an example of a good application introduction:
Hello there, my name is X, I really love the server, I am Obsidian rank (you can make that up), I've been playing since 2013 (You can make that up too), I really like the developments, and so I would like to apply for helper because...'
That my friend is an amazing introduction, not only have you claimed you spent all your mom's credit card on their server, you made them feel better about themselves. This is important because 1: They might be in a bad mood, which lowers your chances, and 2: It makes them feel like a special snowflake who is in the higher power.
Step Two: The reason.
Just like the first step, it's pretty easy. Just make up a reason! Oh, and remember to compliment them even more, that'll up your chances by 7574% (Proven fact). When you're making up your reason, just talk about some people you know and how you've helped them, or something idk.
Here is an example of a good reason:
...So I would like to apply for helper because firstly, I really love the server (More complimenting) a lot and I want to help its wonderful (use of big words makes you sound smarter) community of players! Secondly, Upon reviewing (That sounds technical, which staff members seem to love so much) the forums, I can see that despite the number of staff, some threads still go unnoticed when a user requests a lock etc. I can help this (Be confident) by reviewing multiple thread chains a minute every day (make up some random facts). Did you know that in 2015 18% of lock requests went unnoticed for 5 days (make up some random figures that didn't actually happen), adding to the drama and making friendships ruined (be dramatic and over-the-top)! Another reason (make it seem like you have lots) I can help is because I have made lots of posts in the past and have a great experience (to do this, save a draft of your thread and then comment on like 500 threads to make yourself look popular) in a short time. ;) My final point (don't keep saying reason) is that I am a highly respected member of the community (You can do this even if your like me (who isn't due to constant sarcasm) by bribing 20 members to follow you and when you become helper you give them an advantage over everyone else, like 'accidentally' pinning their post for 5secs etc. Even if helpers can't pin posts (idk if they can) they wouldn't know anyway) with lots of people 'supporting' me.
Step Three: The conclusion.
When making the conclusion, remember to say things like 'therefore' and 'to conclude'. This makes you sound smart enough to know 6yr old grammar but to most people on the internet its 15yr old grammar. (Also don't spell grammar as grammer, please). You must also through EVEN MORE compliments at the reader, and you must be jolly to show you would be happy to become a helper. Then, just repeat everything you said like 20 times so it gets stuck in their head!
Here is an example of a good conclusion:
...lots of people supporting me. In conclusion, I think I should be a helper because I really love the server, I'm respected, I have made lots of posts in the past and I am good at reviewing. (Never say 'and more...'). For example, I knew that 18% locks were delayed five days because I am respected (repeating points secretly) and I know my facts. This proves I am trustworthy because I have made lots of posts (more secret repetitions) and I have more than 15 members of the community that support me (never actually address the trust part). Another fact (don't say point, say FACT, like it is one!) is that I am very intelligent and have a lot of experience of posting in the community (More repetition) and I really love the server! (More complimenting). I conclude (1/2) that this server needs more helpers, therefore (2/2) I should become one due to the points above e.g I am respected (sneaky repetition).
Also, make sure sneaky repetition, conclude and therefore are in the same and final sentence to leave a sweet ending.
As you can see, this is proof that helper is an extremely easy 'forum rank' to get. Want MORE Proof? Damn! You are a rebel, aren't you? Well, here is my final proof.
Let's see what it looks like when we put everything together and remove the darker brackets!
FINAL RESULT:
Hello there, my name is X, I really love the server, I am Obsidian rank, I've been playing since 2013 and I really like the developments, and so I would like to apply for helper because firstly, I really love the server a lot and I want to help its wonderful community of players! Secondly, Upon reviewing the forums, I can see that despite the number of staff, some threads still go unnoticed when a user requests a lock etc. I can help this by reviewing multiple thread chains a minute every day. Did you know that in 2015 18% of lock requests went unnoticed for 5 days, adding to the drama and making friendships ruined! Another reason I can help is that I have made lots of posts in the past and have a great experience in a short time. My final point is that I am a highly respected member of the community with lots of people supporting me. In conclusion, I think I should be a helper because I really love the server, I'm respected, I have made lots of posts in the past and I am good at reviewing. For example, I knew that 18% locks were delayed five days because I am respected and I know my facts. This proves I am trustworthy because I have made lots of posts and I have more than 15 members of the community that support me. Another fact is that I am very intelligent and have a lot of experience of posting in the community and I really love the server! I conclude that this server needs more helpers, therefore I should become one due to the points above e.g I am respected.
If this post reaches 100 views I will make my very own helper application and see if I can become one lol.
BTW I forgot to mention this post is complete satire, if you actually wanna be a helper just do everything I originally said just without the constant compliments, lying, and random figures... In other words just be yourself and say valid points (and for the love of god don't waste your time commenting on 500 threads in the same time-space). Ok, maybe put 2 compliments in but that's it.
The first thing you have to do in your helper application is introducing yourself. But that doesn't mean go: 'Hey, my name is X and I am wishing to apply for helper because...' NO. THAT'S WRONG. In your introduction, you have to compliment the server 50,000,000 times!
Here is an example of a good application introduction:
Hello there, my name is X, I really love the server, I am Obsidian rank (you can make that up), I've been playing since 2013 (You can make that up too), I really like the developments, and so I would like to apply for helper because...'
That my friend is an amazing introduction, not only have you claimed you spent all your mom's credit card on their server, you made them feel better about themselves. This is important because 1: They might be in a bad mood, which lowers your chances, and 2: It makes them feel like a special snowflake who is in the higher power.
Step Two: The reason.
Just like the first step, it's pretty easy. Just make up a reason! Oh, and remember to compliment them even more, that'll up your chances by 7574% (Proven fact). When you're making up your reason, just talk about some people you know and how you've helped them, or something idk.
Here is an example of a good reason:
...So I would like to apply for helper because firstly, I really love the server (More complimenting) a lot and I want to help its wonderful (use of big words makes you sound smarter) community of players! Secondly, Upon reviewing (That sounds technical, which staff members seem to love so much) the forums, I can see that despite the number of staff, some threads still go unnoticed when a user requests a lock etc. I can help this (Be confident) by reviewing multiple thread chains a minute every day (make up some random facts). Did you know that in 2015 18% of lock requests went unnoticed for 5 days (make up some random figures that didn't actually happen), adding to the drama and making friendships ruined (be dramatic and over-the-top)! Another reason (make it seem like you have lots) I can help is because I have made lots of posts in the past and have a great experience (to do this, save a draft of your thread and then comment on like 500 threads to make yourself look popular) in a short time. ;) My final point (don't keep saying reason) is that I am a highly respected member of the community (You can do this even if your like me (who isn't due to constant sarcasm) by bribing 20 members to follow you and when you become helper you give them an advantage over everyone else, like 'accidentally' pinning their post for 5secs etc. Even if helpers can't pin posts (idk if they can) they wouldn't know anyway) with lots of people 'supporting' me.
Step Three: The conclusion.
When making the conclusion, remember to say things like 'therefore' and 'to conclude'. This makes you sound smart enough to know 6yr old grammar but to most people on the internet its 15yr old grammar. (Also don't spell grammar as grammer, please). You must also through EVEN MORE compliments at the reader, and you must be jolly to show you would be happy to become a helper. Then, just repeat everything you said like 20 times so it gets stuck in their head!
Here is an example of a good conclusion:
...lots of people supporting me. In conclusion, I think I should be a helper because I really love the server, I'm respected, I have made lots of posts in the past and I am good at reviewing. (Never say 'and more...'). For example, I knew that 18% locks were delayed five days because I am respected (repeating points secretly) and I know my facts. This proves I am trustworthy because I have made lots of posts (more secret repetitions) and I have more than 15 members of the community that support me (never actually address the trust part). Another fact (don't say point, say FACT, like it is one!) is that I am very intelligent and have a lot of experience of posting in the community (More repetition) and I really love the server! (More complimenting). I conclude (1/2) that this server needs more helpers, therefore (2/2) I should become one due to the points above e.g I am respected (sneaky repetition).
Also, make sure sneaky repetition, conclude and therefore are in the same and final sentence to leave a sweet ending.
As you can see, this is proof that helper is an extremely easy 'forum rank' to get. Want MORE Proof? Damn! You are a rebel, aren't you? Well, here is my final proof.
Let's see what it looks like when we put everything together and remove the darker brackets!
FINAL RESULT:
Hello there, my name is X, I really love the server, I am Obsidian rank, I've been playing since 2013 and I really like the developments, and so I would like to apply for helper because firstly, I really love the server a lot and I want to help its wonderful community of players! Secondly, Upon reviewing the forums, I can see that despite the number of staff, some threads still go unnoticed when a user requests a lock etc. I can help this by reviewing multiple thread chains a minute every day. Did you know that in 2015 18% of lock requests went unnoticed for 5 days, adding to the drama and making friendships ruined! Another reason I can help is that I have made lots of posts in the past and have a great experience in a short time. My final point is that I am a highly respected member of the community with lots of people supporting me. In conclusion, I think I should be a helper because I really love the server, I'm respected, I have made lots of posts in the past and I am good at reviewing. For example, I knew that 18% locks were delayed five days because I am respected and I know my facts. This proves I am trustworthy because I have made lots of posts and I have more than 15 members of the community that support me. Another fact is that I am very intelligent and have a lot of experience of posting in the community and I really love the server! I conclude that this server needs more helpers, therefore I should become one due to the points above e.g I am respected.
If this post reaches 100 views I will make my very own helper application and see if I can become one lol.
BTW I forgot to mention this post is complete satire, if you actually wanna be a helper just do everything I originally said just without the constant compliments, lying, and random figures... In other words just be yourself and say valid points (and for the love of god don't waste your time commenting on 500 threads in the same time-space). Ok, maybe put 2 compliments in but that's it.
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