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THE PSA THAT NEEDS TO BE HEARD:
"NOOB!" "EZ!" "HACKER REPORT!" "*** **** ***** ****** ***!"
These phrases are commonplace in KitPvP, yet they're never used properly.
-You're supposed to call someone a noob when you kill them, not when they kill you.
-You're supposed to say "Ez" when you actually win the fight, not when somebody strategically runs away from you.
-You're supposed to say "Hacker, reporting" when somebody is hacking and you're recording; not when you died because you simply weren't as good as the person that killed you
-You're supposed to say "***********-" wait, you're not supposed to say that at all. Shame on you! It's just a game, why are you getting so upset?
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I've been playing KitPvP lately, and I've noticed a couple of things that really ruffle my feathers. I felt like I'd share them with the community, so that you can all laugh at my misfortune x
This is just a short story that I've written on my recent very relatable venture to the OP KitPvP lobbies.
The adventure begins (slowly)
Exotic_Athena: Oh boy, I'm bored. I wish I had something to do... I think I might check out KitPvP, I'm sure I used to enjoy that game back when I was Mod
I went to the signs and checked the maps, hoping that Classic would be among them. Instead, I was greeted with this abomination:
That's when I thought "No problem, I'll just check by tomorrow!"
As fate would have it, I saw this:
I felt blessed... until I saw this:
The game was full :( :( :( :( :(
But I wasn't going to give up just yet... I stood at that sign for a whole six minutes, and finally, a player left. I didn't get to join in their place since somebody else beat me to it, but about twenty or so minutes later I was finally in.
Oh boy, which kit am I going to use? I think I'd like to try out the Wizard kit, I've heard great things!
The Wizard struggles...
So, I choose my kit and I spawn in, and throw my speed potion, and... there's somebody here. There's somebody spawn-killing at my favourite spot. Now, not only do I have somebody that wants to kill me, but I just gave them speed to help them kill me a little bit easier! OH NO!!!
Alright, no biggie, I'll just try something else this time. Let's see... oh, I know, I'll spawn in at the tents! Now let's just use my speed potion, good, and now I just need to drink my potions and... oh, come on! A ninja is attacking me, meaning that I cannot regen, and I cannot DPS people with my strength potion. Now I'm forced to use (waste) my poison and harming potions on them just to get them off of me!!
But alas, I've finally done it! I've not only spawned in, but I've actually consumed my potions, too! Now all I need to do, is find some victims!! :evilgrin:
W...why does everybody hate me? :(
Player A: Exotic_Athena noob kill steal!!
Player F: Exotic_Athena is trash!!!
Player V: Exotic_Athena, stop interrupting our 1v1s idiot!
Player 3: Hahaha Exotic_Athena has to use potions to kill my Prot. II diamond armour character what a scrub
Suddenly, I'd managed to annoy literally everybody in the game, and a team of five people began chasing me around the map (Yes, this actually happens... I thought it would cease when I resigned, but no, it didn't).
But hey, at least their growing anger is kinda funny... shame they're chasing me so adamantly that I literally cannot play the game anymore. I know, I'll go find a different lobby, and use a different kit! Surely if using the Wizard kit made people hate me, then using the Archer kit would have the opposite effect, right?
The Archer kit chaos
Ahh, Classic, my favourite map. Let's spawn at the tents again and... somebody is camping it (no pun intended). Great, so now I'm dead. I'll choose a subtler spawn point next time.
Nice, Desert, what could go wrong at a spawn point like this? Now all I need to do is get to my favourite territory; the apartment complex. Except... What's that in the distance? Oh dear god it's a stampede of noobs O_O
That's when I realised that a magnetic force was attracting the egos from all the diamond armour players, and bringing them towards me. Dead again, and not only that, but they told me that I was "ez". I'm not sure what an ez is, but the fact that they're tea-bagging my death location implies that they're bragging. Yes, they're bragging that their Protection II full diamond armour was able to kill my unenchanted iron armour.
Ohhh, they were insulting me. They were saying that I look like Jennifer Lopez in shorts... :(
Anyways, I've decided to spawn at the volcan- bad idea, instantly hit into lava.
We'll try tents again. Sweet, I'm now in my ideal territory. Let's wait for a victim...
So, I found a victim, and I pretended to be so bad at the game that they actually felt confident in following me into the sewers. Pew pew pew! My first kill. It may have taken me 33 arrows because they were using the immortal Tank kit, but they couldn't get out of the water because of how fast I was shooting, so that's fine I suppose. I wonder if they'll compliment me in my ability to out-play them using what's considered to be one of the worst kits in the game...
Player B: OH WOW Exotic_Athena is a bow-spammer! NOOB! LOSER! HACKER!
Wait... what? So using my kit the way it was intended makes me a noob? Well I don't want to be a noob, so I guess I'll pull the bowstring back all the way whenever I want to shoot from now on.
Player B: Ezzzzzzzz Exotic_Athena, ezzzzzzzz!!!
Whoa whoa whoa! Hold on a minute! So when I pull the bowstring back all the way and die, which is understandable since it was a close-range encounter, I'm Jennifer Lopez in shorts... But when I do the opposite, and use my bow in a way that keeps me alive, I'm a noob? That's it, I'm done with the Archer kit. Well if you can't beat 'em, join 'em, right? Guess I'll be the yucky tank kit... v.v
Tank kit is stupidly boring
Weird... now that I have the same armour as everybody else, nobody wants to try and kill me anymore. Funny how everybody is happy to swarm me when I'm in iron armour, but now, nobody's interested ._.
*Walks around a bit*
Well, this is boring... the only people that want to fight me are other tank kit players, but I don't want to waste half my day fighting one person :/ Everybody else just runs away because you know... they have either iron armour, leather armour, or no armour at all, whereas I have Prot. II diamond.
Let's try something else... Something cool... Ninjas are cool, we'll try the ninja kit.
So I used the ninja kit...
And was bullied by literally everyone on the server. The instant I would spawn, I would be attacked by all players in the surrounding area, regardless of their kit. I was killed in five hits by a tank, two hits by an archer, three hits by a wizard, one hit by an admin... that's it, I refuse to fight anybody that isn't a ninja themselves!
*Runs away from a tank*
Player E: Exotic_Athena runs, ez!!!!
WHAT??? I'm ez for running away??? explosive rage in three... two... one...
You mean you honestly expect me to fight you and your Prot. II diamond armour, when I literally have a chestplate and a pair of boots to protect me? Of course I'm going to run, I don't want to die! Honestly, I thought that being an Archer was tough work, but those that main the Ninja kit are the ones that really have it bad!! If you don't fight people, you're Jennifer Lopez. If you do fight people, you'll almost certainly die, and you're still Jennifer Lopez!! You. Cannot. Win.
That's it, I'm off to play Skywars... KitPvP clearly isn't the game for me :(
-The end
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Just want to point out in case it isn't already extremely obvious, that this is just a joke. I don't actually hate those that use the Tank kit, nor do I think they're bad at the game or anything. I just felt like documenting all of the things that annoy me in the fashion of a funny little story. I don't dislike the game either; I have over seven days played xd
Also, what's wrong with running away anyways? The objective of the game is to get kills whilst staying alive yourself. Why would somebody remain in combat when they're losing? It would be stupid not to run! To anybody that has ever ran away from me mid-fight, I forgive you x Not only that, but I also want to congratulate you on not being an idiot. If you were losing, you did the right thing by running away :)
Hope you enjoyed wasting your life reading this. If this thread seems a little "weird" to you, that's because I'm weird. Shocker, I know. If it made you cringe at any time, then I've done well.
THE PSA THAT NEEDS TO BE HEARD:
"NOOB!" "EZ!" "HACKER REPORT!" "*** **** ***** ****** ***!"
These phrases are commonplace in KitPvP, yet they're never used properly.
-You're supposed to call someone a noob when you kill them, not when they kill you.
-You're supposed to say "Ez" when you actually win the fight, not when somebody strategically runs away from you.
-You're supposed to say "Hacker, reporting" when somebody is hacking and you're recording; not when you died because you simply weren't as good as the person that killed you
-You're supposed to say "***********-" wait, you're not supposed to say that at all. Shame on you! It's just a game, why are you getting so upset?
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I've been playing KitPvP lately, and I've noticed a couple of things that really ruffle my feathers. I felt like I'd share them with the community, so that you can all laugh at my misfortune x
This is just a short story that I've written on my recent very relatable venture to the OP KitPvP lobbies.
The adventure begins (slowly)
Exotic_Athena: Oh boy, I'm bored. I wish I had something to do... I think I might check out KitPvP, I'm sure I used to enjoy that game back when I was Mod
I went to the signs and checked the maps, hoping that Classic would be among them. Instead, I was greeted with this abomination:
That's when I thought "No problem, I'll just check by tomorrow!"
As fate would have it, I saw this:
I felt blessed... until I saw this:
The game was full :( :( :( :( :(
But I wasn't going to give up just yet... I stood at that sign for a whole six minutes, and finally, a player left. I didn't get to join in their place since somebody else beat me to it, but about twenty or so minutes later I was finally in.
Oh boy, which kit am I going to use? I think I'd like to try out the Wizard kit, I've heard great things!
The Wizard struggles...
So, I choose my kit and I spawn in, and throw my speed potion, and... there's somebody here. There's somebody spawn-killing at my favourite spot. Now, not only do I have somebody that wants to kill me, but I just gave them speed to help them kill me a little bit easier! OH NO!!!
Alright, no biggie, I'll just try something else this time. Let's see... oh, I know, I'll spawn in at the tents! Now let's just use my speed potion, good, and now I just need to drink my potions and... oh, come on! A ninja is attacking me, meaning that I cannot regen, and I cannot DPS people with my strength potion. Now I'm forced to use (waste) my poison and harming potions on them just to get them off of me!!
But alas, I've finally done it! I've not only spawned in, but I've actually consumed my potions, too! Now all I need to do, is find some victims!! :evilgrin:
W...why does everybody hate me? :(
Player A: Exotic_Athena noob kill steal!!
Player F: Exotic_Athena is trash!!!
Player V: Exotic_Athena, stop interrupting our 1v1s idiot!
Player 3: Hahaha Exotic_Athena has to use potions to kill my Prot. II diamond armour character what a scrub
Suddenly, I'd managed to annoy literally everybody in the game, and a team of five people began chasing me around the map (Yes, this actually happens... I thought it would cease when I resigned, but no, it didn't).
But hey, at least their growing anger is kinda funny... shame they're chasing me so adamantly that I literally cannot play the game anymore. I know, I'll go find a different lobby, and use a different kit! Surely if using the Wizard kit made people hate me, then using the Archer kit would have the opposite effect, right?
The Archer kit chaos
Ahh, Classic, my favourite map. Let's spawn at the tents again and... somebody is camping it (no pun intended). Great, so now I'm dead. I'll choose a subtler spawn point next time.
Nice, Desert, what could go wrong at a spawn point like this? Now all I need to do is get to my favourite territory; the apartment complex. Except... What's that in the distance? Oh dear god it's a stampede of noobs O_O
That's when I realised that a magnetic force was attracting the egos from all the diamond armour players, and bringing them towards me. Dead again, and not only that, but they told me that I was "ez". I'm not sure what an ez is, but the fact that they're tea-bagging my death location implies that they're bragging. Yes, they're bragging that their Protection II full diamond armour was able to kill my unenchanted iron armour.
Ohhh, they were insulting me. They were saying that I look like Jennifer Lopez in shorts... :(
Anyways, I've decided to spawn at the volcan- bad idea, instantly hit into lava.
We'll try tents again. Sweet, I'm now in my ideal territory. Let's wait for a victim...
So, I found a victim, and I pretended to be so bad at the game that they actually felt confident in following me into the sewers. Pew pew pew! My first kill. It may have taken me 33 arrows because they were using the immortal Tank kit, but they couldn't get out of the water because of how fast I was shooting, so that's fine I suppose. I wonder if they'll compliment me in my ability to out-play them using what's considered to be one of the worst kits in the game...
Player B: OH WOW Exotic_Athena is a bow-spammer! NOOB! LOSER! HACKER!
Wait... what? So using my kit the way it was intended makes me a noob? Well I don't want to be a noob, so I guess I'll pull the bowstring back all the way whenever I want to shoot from now on.
Player B: Ezzzzzzzz Exotic_Athena, ezzzzzzzz!!!
Whoa whoa whoa! Hold on a minute! So when I pull the bowstring back all the way and die, which is understandable since it was a close-range encounter, I'm Jennifer Lopez in shorts... But when I do the opposite, and use my bow in a way that keeps me alive, I'm a noob? That's it, I'm done with the Archer kit. Well if you can't beat 'em, join 'em, right? Guess I'll be the yucky tank kit... v.v
Tank kit is stupidly boring
Weird... now that I have the same armour as everybody else, nobody wants to try and kill me anymore. Funny how everybody is happy to swarm me when I'm in iron armour, but now, nobody's interested ._.
*Walks around a bit*
Well, this is boring... the only people that want to fight me are other tank kit players, but I don't want to waste half my day fighting one person :/ Everybody else just runs away because you know... they have either iron armour, leather armour, or no armour at all, whereas I have Prot. II diamond.
Let's try something else... Something cool... Ninjas are cool, we'll try the ninja kit.
So I used the ninja kit...
And was bullied by literally everyone on the server. The instant I would spawn, I would be attacked by all players in the surrounding area, regardless of their kit. I was killed in five hits by a tank, two hits by an archer, three hits by a wizard, one hit by an admin... that's it, I refuse to fight anybody that isn't a ninja themselves!
*Runs away from a tank*
Player E: Exotic_Athena runs, ez!!!!
WHAT??? I'm ez for running away??? explosive rage in three... two... one...
You mean you honestly expect me to fight you and your Prot. II diamond armour, when I literally have a chestplate and a pair of boots to protect me? Of course I'm going to run, I don't want to die! Honestly, I thought that being an Archer was tough work, but those that main the Ninja kit are the ones that really have it bad!! If you don't fight people, you're Jennifer Lopez. If you do fight people, you'll almost certainly die, and you're still Jennifer Lopez!! You. Cannot. Win.
That's it, I'm off to play Skywars... KitPvP clearly isn't the game for me :(
-The end
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Just want to point out in case it isn't already extremely obvious, that this is just a joke. I don't actually hate those that use the Tank kit, nor do I think they're bad at the game or anything. I just felt like documenting all of the things that annoy me in the fashion of a funny little story. I don't dislike the game either; I have over seven days played xd
Also, what's wrong with running away anyways? The objective of the game is to get kills whilst staying alive yourself. Why would somebody remain in combat when they're losing? It would be stupid not to run! To anybody that has ever ran away from me mid-fight, I forgive you x Not only that, but I also want to congratulate you on not being an idiot. If you were losing, you did the right thing by running away :)
Hope you enjoyed wasting your life reading this. If this thread seems a little "weird" to you, that's because I'm weird. Shocker, I know. If it made you cringe at any time, then I've done well.
