Mental Health & You 💙

[Salty_Shadows]

*Trigger Warning (Reader discretion

advised) Does mention about Sewer slides and Sell arms*​

Well ive sat on this post since it came out as i didn't want to reveal much about my personal life as i hate people having sympathy for me xD but seeing as more people dont know much about me i feel like its about time i talk about all my stories in Life :)​

If you want to talk about anything i say feel free to Start a conversation with me or Dm me on discord SALTY_Shadows#6969

Growing up i didn't have an easy life with being adopted at the age of 5 It lead to me losing all my friends at an early age and left me feeling like an outsider when i moved to a new school and for all of primary i was bullied for being the "outsider" and the fact i had a different accent to everyone else

I then moved to secondary school and all was fine for the first two Years but then In year 9 my life turned for the worst

In January 2018 My mum Passed away after having a seizure and it messed me up and it still affects me to this day​

It was also this time when i was Diagnosed with severe depression and Severe social anxiety ( I knew I had social anxiety but it wasn't diagnosed for a while)

I then got really depressed when my older brother walked out on me and my dad and ive never since him since that day and i dont even know if he's still around which still haunts me to this day not knowing where he has gone

I then Lost my good friend to suicide months later and it lead to me sell arming and having really dark thoughts about ending it all as i was just Failing all my subjects and i was kept being told that i am a massive failure

In early 2019 That i was first diagnosed with Anorexia and a Month later i was Hospitalised because of it and it wasn't a fun experience (8 months later i would be hospitalised again because of Anorexia)

Then in 2020, When covid Hit, i became really isolated as most of my irl friends I had Decided to leave me by myself so this didn't not help with my Sewer slide thoughts and One thing lead to another and I did an attempt. I was then put on sewer slide watch for about 2 weeks and referred to a counsellor and a therapist who both quit after a month of Dealing with me which didn't help me at all.

During 2020 i met some wonderful people on CC who have helped me out a lot and i want to thank all of them I would tag you all but there's just too many of you xD

Although ,during 2021 my mental health was up and down all the time With some days feeling great and some days i felt like absolute crap. I also started to get harassed by members of the cubecraft community over stupid decisions on my part and it lead to me needing to take a break or i probably wouldn't be here today​

At the start of 2022 i came out of a 11 month long relationship at the worst time possible which had a massive affect on my mental health which is one of the reasons i went on my break as i didn't have any motivation to Live let alone play cubecraft​

I do still suffer From Anorexia But its not as bad as it was Back then and i am back in Therapy to Hopefully cure my depression and anxiety.​

If you ever experience something similar to what i have Please Get help there are people out there who will help you and if you ever want someone to talk you about similar issues my dms are always open and i will listen and give advice the best i can :D

(There are some details still left out here Theyre just too much for this thread :) if you really want to know more feel free to get in contact with me)​

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[Otherworld]

The otherworldy that knows no worlds, like the tides of the ocean

An ocean, dark as the deep sea, covers the horizon. Unwavering. Silence as deep bearing as a woven blanket…within its depths that may crush even the most dauntless of hearts

The shore, a forest filled with the echoes of creaking branches in the wind. Cold as shadows floating aghast in the wind.

No soul dwells, where time forgot.

No soul thrives, where is no world to claim.

No soul shines, where the sky is no more.

Separated.

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I woke up, to find a new dawn. For me, I found a new world I thought I’d never see. Ever-changing and ever-growing, expanding, connecting, inspiring
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As I was very young, I was separated from the place I called home. From my friends, the things I have known my whole life, the things that gave me the very support I needed.

In the small village I was forced to move to, I quickly became an outcast because I was deemed different.
No one even bothered to see who I truly am, prejudice, labelled. My strengths were turned to my flaws

I was bullied in elementary school, up to the 7th grade, no one came to save me. No justice, as every word I spoke was empty for them. No one would come and listen on my side.
Those who were to protect me punished me for my weakness. If I were to defend myself, I was punished even harder. If I had no ways to prove, I was the bad one. Convicted. Rejected. Unrecognized.



After that, there was silence. I have been hurt so much I couldn’t trust anyone any more, so I spend all my years alone, like a ghost. Even when people genuinely tried to approach and cared for me. Wanting to befriend me.

Sunk countless hours into video games…

Went for perfection in school and beyond. In everything life has to offer.
Trying to fill that very void. But it is only giving so much of a fake feeling of belonging, being recognized, meaning?
It fails to give all of this. If at all, it separates us from even more from the things we seek. Hollow.

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I was seriously struggling with mental health, as I developed serious depression and complex PTSD. The latter ravaging me to this day.
There are days, it all comes back to me. Washing the ground away from my feet once again.

But I am a fighter. I’m getting better every day, step by step. There are dark days, where I just feel like hiding from the world. There are bright days, where I discover myself and make new friends. Even found love.

My willpower is growing every day and since a veeery long time, I can finally say that I am feeling alive
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Sharing is caring <3
Know that you are never truly alone <3

Even in the darkest time, there is always sliver of hope…even when all seems lost!

There will always be someone in the world who will truly understand you
But it can be sooo hard to open up sometimes!

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I‘d like to thank everyone here
For lifting me up and giving me a place to stay

I’m also extra thankful to all of those who were brave enough to speak before me :D
(aaand some extra extra thanks towards: @Salty_shadow)